A Con without mascosts is like an omelette without eggs. Without masCOts it´s not a COn, but a “__n”. It didn’t take us long to realize the need for a cute lil critter to brighten the days of so many
perv– enthusiasts out there. Thus, there we went, hearts full of determination, setting up a list of candidate species, only requirement being they had to be representative of Spain. After all, spanish furcon, spanish mascots. If you think about it, it makes sense!
Natural selection was set into motion: Iberian Wolf? Meh, too many wolves out there, not easy to point out the ethnic detail… Brown Bear? No thanks, Disney’s Brother Bear too copyrightish for comfort… Golden Eagle? Too steep into foreign debt to afford it…
After much discarding, two species were shortlisted. Iberian Lynx and Bull. Both were second nature to Spain in such intimate ways that choosing one would be an offfense to the other. Thus, only one choice could be made: beer duel! After an unlikely stalemate of hangovers, we called it a truce: both would be chosen! Not only that, but it turned out that one would be the other’s sidekick: Since the bull is a male (d’uuuuh!), the lynx would be a female. One tall and strong, the other short but cunning. One herbivore, the other carnivore. One the uncomplaining bossed worker, the other the bossy boss.
Thus, without further ado, we proudly introduce to you…
Doña Ana (Miss Anne)
30 years and enough energy to power the city electric grid for a week all by herself. There is no mess in which she isn’t into nor guffwaff she ain’t the spotlight of. Most of times, dragging good ol’ Bertín along.
Thankfully, she is just 1.5 meters tall, otherwise nobody would be able to stopping her!! Her only natural nemesis are tall shelves. But she ain’t letting her shortcomings slow her down! Wherever she can’t reach, she sends Bertín to get it or to crumble it down to her height! Nothing falls short of her attention…or long, for that matter…
Whether it be organizing her
minions– the Con staffers, managing her businesses or being in the party’s spotlight, you will always find her leading the cheering crowds… even if she has no idea of where they’re going!
(Her name is a spanish inner joke. If you find it, we solemnly promise to consider awarding you with a cookie)
At 25 years of age, this brave bull is his boss’ exact opposite. Calm and tranquil, he doesn’t tie his tail in a knot about the ellaborate conundrums of the mind.
He settles down (and sometimes just refuses to think about) with heeding the bossy commands and directions of his nutty overlord of a lynxette. Whether it be in her triumphs or, most of times, bearing with her not-so-brilliant plans, he just tries to do his work and be done with it.
His brute strengh is extraordinary, even for a bull. To the point of bewilderment. Why renting a big noisty truck to move a heavy object when he can do it with his bare hands? Why making it so complicated? Simple things never fail. “Like a botijo” he usually says. “Be botijo, my friend”. So far, his cunning intellect has never failed him…
He is really tall, almost 2 meters, not counting his horns. That pisses Doña Ana off all the time. Whenever she pesters him too much, one of his biggest conforts is to look dooooooooown, aaaaall the way down on her, slowly, enjoying Doña Ana’s building rage. When their gazes meet, she goes off like a bomb, but to him, its all worth it.
But beware! Do not confuse calmness with meekness. Bulls are naturally brave, and Bertín is no exception. Only when Doña Ana pisses him off real hard, Bertín loses it. It’s in times like those when you would do well heeding Gandalf’s words of wisdom: “Run, you fools!”
(His name got another spanish inner joke. If you find it, we solemnly promise to consider awarding you with a cookie as well!)